Becouse You Left!
by Jamee43
Summary: HArry lost somebody after the war.The only thing that keeps him alive is his daughter. He sees the person he lost even though he is dead. Why? And who did he lose? If you are going to read this, grab some tissues! You are going to cry Consider yourselfs w


**Because you left!**

It was not fair. They got so little time together. Why did he break his promise? Why did he leave? Harry would never understand this. He started to cry again as he lay there under his warm covers. It had been a long time ago since he had cried, since he had even thought about him. Why now? That wasn't fair. He couldn't show up at work all puffy eyed from crying. Not now, when everybody finally thought he had gotten over it. Of course, he hadn't. How could he?

He was dead. Gone.

Harry had told himself this so many times. Why didn't he believe it? He had seen it happen. Felt it.

It was all his fault. If he hadn't mentioned it to him, then he would still be there, beside him. Smiling and laughing at him. Kissing him senseless. He would have been woken with kisses and soft caresses and not by a pain in his heart that was so sharp it almost made him scream. This was the way he had woken up for the past three days. It didn't scare him. There were not many things that scared him after the Final Battle and the night he lost him.

Silent tears fell down his face and down on his pillow, but Harry didn't make an effort to dry them. Why? There was no point with living.

A scream from the room next door woke Harry from his thoughts. Oh yes, there was _one _point to life. Abigail. The only part of him that were still on this earth.

Harry bolted to his daughter's room and ripped the door open. On the bed sat a crying two year old girl. Harry rushed to her side and gathered her in his arms, holding her tight. She buried her face in his bare chest and cried. Harry kissed the top of her very blonde head to comfort her.

"Shh, darling. Tell Daddy why you are crying." he whispered to the girl.

The girl stopped crying but didn't remove her face from his chest or her arms from his neck. He just held her and whispered words of comfort to her in an attempt to try and coax her into telling him. Though he knew that she had too much of her father in her. She would not tell him unless she wanted to, nothing he could say would sway her.

He finally drew her away from him and looked into her eyes. They were gray, with emerald streaks.

"Now, Abby, tell me what made you cry." he said firmly.

"It... it was... a... bad dweam!" Abigail sobbed.

"Oh darling!" Harry said and held her tight again. He had his share of nightmares and did not wish his daughter to have them as well. Even if they were not visions like his own had been.

"Have you cwyed, daddy?" Abby suddenly asked.

Harry looked down at her and tried to smile. She reminded him so much of him. Her father. The blonde Slytherin that had captured his heart without Harry's knowledge. He had slithered his way into Harry's heart like the snake he had been and refused to leave, even now when he was dead. Harry could still see him, smell him. Feel him.

Harry looked away from the girl in his arms and to the door. There in the baggy t-shirt he always wore when he had just gotten out of bed, a gentle smile on his face, he stood.

Draco.

Harry smiled back and then looked back at his daughter. His smile grew.

"I'm fine sweetheart." he said and kissed her forehead.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up. In the doorway that Draco had been standing in just a second ago, was now Ginny Weasley. He swallowed his tears and smiled at her. She was there to watch Abby until it was time to go to daycare. Harry always started early in the morning so he could go pick Abby up after work and be with her the rest of the day.

He didn't need to work. He had enough money to take care of Abby all day long without working one day. The money he had gotten from his parents and Sirius was enough for that alone, but the money he had gotten when Draco died was ridiculous. Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy had died in Azkaban shortly after their sixth year when Dumbledore had gotten enough evidence to convict them. Draco hadn't minded. They were lousy parents anyway. And then when Draco died, Harry got the entire Malfoy fortune, which wasn't small.

But Harry needed something to do, besides taking care of Abby. So he was pushing papers for the Ministry of Magic. His working hours were very flexible for Abby's sake. If something happened he could leave without a word and then come back when it was straightened out. The new minister, Arthur Weasley, didn't mind. Harry wasn't even needed there. But Arthur understood he wanted something else to think about. So he gave him some papers to work through every day.

Harry looked up from his desk and looked at the blonde that was sprawled over the couch. He was wearing a baby blue shirt and sand colored trousers.

"You're not real." Harry said matter-of-factly.

Draco smiled sadly. "No. I'm not. Not really."

Harry sighed. Why was he seeing him? He shouldn't see him! Shouldn't hear him or smell him! He was dead, God damn it! He wasn't sitting on that couch smiling at him like that. It made him want to kiss him and if he did, he would go away again. Harry didn't want that.

"Why am I seeing you?" Harry sighed again.

Draco got up from the couch and walked over to Harry. He sat on the edge of the desk like he had done before, when he was still alive.

"Just because you can't touch me doesn't mean I'm not here." the blonde said softly.

Harry's throat burned with tears that wanted to get out, but he didn't want to cry anymore.

"But you just said..." Harry croaked.

"Yes. I'm not _real_, Harry. But I am _here. _I never left you and Abby. I still watch over you. That's all I can do for now." Draco smiled at him again.

"You talk in riddles, love." Harry sighed and sat back in his chair. "I wish I could kiss you. And hold you."

Harry's tears broke free and he let them. He saw Draco reach out and ghost his hand over his face. Not touching, but Harry felt the warmth from his skin.

"I know, love. We'll see each other soon enough." Draco tried to comfort but it didn't help much when he wasn't holding him.

Harry reached out with his own hand to touch the blonde's cheek, just once. Only once more. _Let me touch him just this once!_ Harry pleaded in his mind. _Please, just once._

But before his hand could touch that soft cheek he remembered so well, the door to his office opened and Harry looked over to see who was intruding on his privacy. It was Arthur. Harry then looked at the place near his out stretched hand were Draco's face would have been. There was only air there now. Harry closed his eyes and dried his tears away.

"What can I do for you, Arthur?" he asked in a little too cheery voice.

"Molly wants to know if you and Abby still are coming to dinner." the older man said.

"Yes, of course!" Harry said, surprised the man had even asked.

"Why aren't you picking Abby up and getting ready then? Why are you still here?"

"It's nothing, Arthur. I was just about to go."

That was a lie, he would have stayed in that office forever if Draco would have stayed. Why didn't he stay? Harry's mind drifted to the night Abigail was born.

Flash back

"Come on, love! You can do this!" Harry said while Draco cried out in pain.

He hated seeing his lover, his husband, in so much pain. But like with so many other things. There was nothing he could do. The baby had to come out and it was hurting Draco.

It was almost 23 hours since they had gotten to St. Mungo's for the delivery. Draco had been in pain for 23 hours. He had cursed and yelled at Harry for making him go through with this. Most of the things he was yelling as he pushed weren't even true but Harry didn't care. They were helping Draco deal that was all. He didn't mean them. They were so lucky the baby hadn't decided to come the night before. That had been the night of the Final Battle. Harry had defeated Voldemort once and for all.

"You bastard! I am never doing this again! You fucking... flobberworm!"

Harry smiled. Draco was running out of things to call him. He had been called everything imaginable the last 23 hours, but flobberworm had not been mentioned before now.

"It's a girl!" the nurse suddenly said and a second later a babies cry priced the sudden silence in the room.

Harry cast a glance at the nurse that was fussing over the newborn and then turned to Draco. He was slumped back against the pillows, breathing hard. Harry kissed Draco's hand, forehead and lips.

"You okay, love?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Draco smiled. "Just tired. Bloody exhausted actually." Harry smiled and kissed him again. "Where is she? I want to see her!"

The nurse came forward with the small child and placed her on Draco's chest. The blonde smiled down at his daughter and slid a finger down her small back. She shivered and whimpered. Draco drew up the covers and the girl stopped whimpering.

"I take it all back! I want another one!" Draco pleaded with Harry who smiled at him.

"What are we going to name her, love?" Harry asked.

"Abigail." Draco answered after a short while of hesitation.

End Flashback

That night, when Abby was tucked in bed and sound asleep, Harry was sitting by the kitchen table silently crying. Why was he crying so much? He shouldn't be. It was over a bloody year ago! He should be over it. After all, Bill had died and the Wesley's didn't cry. They laughed. Harry hadn't laughed in ages. Not long ago Hermione had said she missed his laugh.

"Why don't you laugh, love?"

Harry snapped his eyes open and looked straight into the stormy gray eyes that he was crying over.

"What's the point of laughing if you're not here to laugh with me?" Harry retorted between sobs.

"You have Abby. Laugh with her. I know it hurts love. It will be over soon. I promise." Draco said with a sad smile.

"You also promised not to leave me. Still, you did." Harry pointed out.

"I had no choice in that." Draco protested.

"I was there, Dray. You had a choice. You could have stayed by the cradle and let me handle it! Why couldn't you just have let me handle it!" Harry suddenly screamed.

"Would you have done that if it was me? If it was me who was standing there with an AK curse coming at me. Would you have just stood there? Would you have chosen your own life over mine?" Draco asked gently.

"Of course not!" Harry snapped.

"Then why are you mad at me?"

"Because you left!"

"No. I told you before, I never left you. I never will."

"But I saw you die! I felt it!" Harry said tears in his eyes.

Flash back

It was five moths to the day since Abby's birth and Draco and Harry were in the nursery watching their daughter sleep. Harry held Draco close to his side and Draco rested his head on his shoulder. They were scared.

The news of Abby's birth had not been taken very well by the wizarding world. They had gotten mail from people threatened to come and kill their 'brat'. Others were directed to Harry or Draco. People wanted to 'save' Harry from Draco and vice versa. Ex Death Eaters that wanted Draco to be the next dark Lord because of his name. Old Order members that still thought Draco was no good.

They had of course strengthened their wards all they could but all wards had flaws. They had learned that during the war. Wards made it safer, but it didn't mean you were invulnerable.

The door down stairs opened.

"I'll go check who it is." Harry said and kissed Draco on the lips.

A few minutes later he came back with Hannah Abbot, a friend they had made during the war. Harry started to make his way back to Draco and his child but Hannah called his name.

"I loved you! I could have given you a child! And we would have been happier then you are with that worthless whore!" she called and drew out her wand.

"Now, Hannah, you don't want to do this!" Harry said and took a step towards her but she turned her wand away from Draco and aimed it straight at Harry's chest.

"I _do_ want to do this!" she yelled startling Abby awake.

The baby screamed and Hannah screamed at them to shut the bastard child up. Harry's rage was building; he knew Draco could see his magic starting to crackle around him.

"Hannah, you better get out of here!" Harry warned.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Hannah screamed holding her hand over her forehead like she had a bad headache.

"I don't want to hurt you, Hannah!" Harry screamed so she could here him over Abby's screaming.

"Why won't you shut up!" she screamed. "Avada Kedavra!"

The hex shot straight at Harry. He turned his eyes away from Hannah and looked at the horrified face of his husband. He said his goodbye with his eyes to his blonde love and thought that would be it. The hex would hit him and he would be torn away from his family, his new found happiness. But it didn't happen.

Somehow Draco found the speed to get to Harry before the curse and pushed him out of the way. Everything went in slow motion. Harry saw the green light of the curse disappear into Draco's back. The blonde's eyes widening in a second of horror and then went blank.

"Draco!" Harry shook his husband but couldn't get him to respond.

He was dead.

End Flashback

Years later Harry followed his daughter to the Hogwarts Express for her first year at school. She was crying. She didn't want to leave the safety of their home. Harry understood her. Outside the protecting walls of the house she was Harry Potter's daughter. Never Draco Malfoy's. The fact that she had lost a parent was never mentioned outside of their family circle, and Abby loved to talk about Draco. She always had.

Harry hugged and kissed his daughter goodbye and helped her on the train. She clung to his arm when people turned and looked at them, whispered. Harry was used to it. But, like with so many other things, he had tried to shield Abby from it. Tried to keep her out of the public eye.

"I'll see you on your next holiday." Harry said and kissed his daughters cheek again.

"Would Daddy be proud of me?" she asked in a shaky voice.

Harry had told her a lot about Daddy's time at Hogwarts and all they did there. He smiled at her. That sentence was one that often passed her lips. She always wanted to know if Draco was proud of her, loved her.

"Yes, darling, he is very proud of you. And he loves you, always." he said softly and then the train whistle sounded. "I have to go now, darling."

"No! Please, can't you come with me?" she begged.

"No, you have to do this on your own."

"Are you okay, little girl?" a boy that had stuck his head into Abby's compartment asked. He looked to be a second or third year. Dirty blonde hair with blue eyes.

"Yeah." Abby mumbled.

As Harry was about to walk off the train he stopped by the boy who still was in the doorway.

"What's your name?" Harry asked him.

"David." he answered.

"Well, David. Would you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what?" the boy asked like he thought there was nothing in the world he could help this man with.

"Look after my daughter." Harry said and nodded in Abby's direction.

"You want me to hang around her all year!" the boy exclaimed.

"No. Just keep an eye on her. Usually I would, but I can't come to Hogwarts and she can't stay home. So I'm asking you."

"Don't she have any relatives?" he asked weakly.

"No. I'm an only child, like her other father was. The closest thing she has won't be going on this train for another two years." Harry explained. "I have to go. Will you do it?"

"Yes, sure. Why not?" the boy said weakly.

"Thank you."

Harry sighed when he closed the door to his car.

"Why so sad love?" a voice said from his side.

Harry turned his head and smiled at his blonde love. His _dead _blonde love. He had gotten used to seeing him every now and then. It actually became one of the few things that comforted him when he missed Draco the most.

"Our little girl is growing up." Harry answered with a sad smile.

"You got separation anxiety?" Draco asked softly.

"Only when it comes to Abby."

Draco smiled at him.

Harry buttoned his shirt after the Healer had examined him. He had just been and left Abby at the Hogwarts Express for her third year. David and she had gotten close over the years and to Harry they looked like the new golden trio.

"So what's the verdict?" Harry asked the Healer cheerfully.

He had gone to see the Healer because of chest pains. He didn't think anything of it. Nothing could be wrong. He was Harry Potter, untouchable, unbreakable. Right?

"Not very good, Mr. Potter." the Healer said sadly.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked a bit worried now.

"You have a heart condition. Had it since birth I think. But because of some stress or whatever, it has come out. Your chest hurt because your heart gets minor cramp attacks. Most often when your emotional." he said seriously.

"Can it be cured?" Harry asked bluntly.

"No." the Healer said just as bluntly. "Just slowed."

"Okay, so I have to take pills for the rest of my life?"

"Yes."

"How long will that be exactly?" Harry asked curiously. He didn't want Abby to lose both her parents before she found someone else to protect her. Someone who loved her and that she loved back.

"Six or seven years, nine if you're really lucky." the Healer said slowly.

"I see."

Harry got a blue and red pill that he had to take every morning to help his heart to cope with the cramp attacks. And some how, he managed to hide it from Abby. She never knew of her father's long time illness.

"I, Abigail Potter-Malfoy, take thee David O'Donner as my husband..." Harry's 22 year old daughter repeated after the priest the young couple stood in front of.

"To honor and to hold..." the priest continued and she repeated it.

"Till death due us part." Harry whispered at the same time as his daughter said it.

"Death already tore us apart, darling." a voice whispered in Harry's ear.

"No, you're still here." Harry answered in a whisper.

Later the bride and her father had their dance. Harry held Abby close while they danced and softly sang along with the song.

_Yeah, Oh  
I stare at your face  
Into your eyes  
Outside there's so much passing us by  
All of the sounds  
All of the sights  
Over the earth and under the sky  
Too much cold and too much rain  
Too much heartache to explain_

_Who needs the world when I got you  
Switch off the sun the stars and the moon  
I have all I need inside of this room  
Who needs the world when I got you_

_Oh no no  
I walk on the street  
Talk in the dark  
I see peoples dreams just falling apart  
I open my arms  
Tried to be true  
Seems like my only truth is you  
Am I wrong  
Or am I right  
All I want is you tonight_

_Who needs the world when I got you  
Switch off the sun the stars and the moon  
I have all I need inside of this room  
Who needs the world when I got you_

_Who needs the stars so bright and the grass so green and the morning light  
Who needs the wind to blow and the tide to rise  
Who needs it...I don't know  
I don't know  
Yeah_

_Who needs the world when I got you  
Switch off the sun the stars and the moon  
I have all I need inside of this room  
Who needs the world when I got you  
Who needs the world when I got you  
Switch off the sun the stars and the moon  
I have all I need inside of this room  
Who needs the world when I got you  
Who needs the world when I got you_

Harry kissed his daughter's cheek when the song ended and turned her over to her new husband. The boy that Harry had asked to look after his daughter during her first year. He would now take care of her for the rest of her life. Harry had no objections to this. He trusted him completely.

He returned to the table he was seated at together with Ron and Hermione. They smiled at him and he smiled back. His chest started to hurt a little but he didn't care about it. It had happened before during the years and was nothing to worry about. But then it got worse. And worse.

After a short while it got so intense that he fell off his chair. Hermione started to look at him with concern when he put his hand over his heart and then screamed his name when he fell off the chair. Harry was vaguely aware of the music stopping and Abby coming over to him.

When he woke up he was in a hospital bed. He turned his head and saw Abby sitting beside the bed in David's arms. She was asleep. He smiled at them and his smile broadened when David opened his eyes and met his.

"You'll take care of her, right?" he asked softly so he wouldn't wake the girl that slept in her husbands arms. David just nodded.

"You're not going to die, are you?" David asked after a while of silence.

"Yes, I most probably am." he said seriously.

"No! Abby can't... She won't... It will break her if you die!" David said fiercely but Harry just laughed softly at him.

"I wasn't supposed to live this long in the first place. I was convinced for years that I would die in the Final Battle, but then Abby's father came along and showed me something that made me want to live through it. And he gave me Abby. Now I'm passing her along to you. I know you will take care of her. Love her, protect her. She trusts you so I trust you as well." Harry said firmly.

He drew a ragged breath and then called for his daughter in a soft voice. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him when she saw he was awake.

"Come here, lovely." Harry said and she did as she was told and let him enfold her in his arms.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" she cried into his shoulder.

"I'm not okay, darling." Harry said softly.

His daughter drew away from him and stared down at him in utter horror and disbelief. He was awake, how could he not be okay!

"I've had a heart condition for a long time, sweetie. It's a miracle I've made it this far." he explained in a soft voice like he thought that would make the shock less painful.

"A long time? Why didn't you tell me?" Abby cried suddenly angry.

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me. Or fuss over me. There was never much wrong with me except for the cramp attacks." he tried to sooth her.

"Cramp attacks? Why haven't I noticed?" she asked confused now.

"It was only my heart that had cramp attacks. And you did notice a few times but brushed it of when I said it was nothing. The pills I take make it easier and I never let you see that I was in actual pain. Ever." he said still in a soft but firm voice.

"But why now! Why not in a year? Or two?" she asked desperately.

"I wasn't supposed to live past your twentieth birthday. I held on as long as I could. I wanted you to be safe. And now you are with David." Harry smiled at the young man who smiled back.

"Daddy..." Abby said and hugged him close again.

"Now say your goodbyes and get out of here so I can die in peace." Harry joked lightly.

"Don't joke about it!" Abby scolded him.

"I'm not joking. My time has come. It's my turn to go to your father and in forty or fifty years we'll come for you." Harry said and smiled at his daughter.

"That's not even funny dad." she said.

"Again, I'm not joking!" Harry said more firmly this time. "Now say goodbye and get out!"

"Goodbye daddy." Abby said kissing his cheek and hugging him closer still.

Harry could feel her tears on his neck and decided to make her promise him one last thing before he kick the bucket so to speak.

"Abby, darling, I want you to promise me something." he whispered in her ear and she nodded. "I want you to promise that you won't cry for me. The second you walk out that door with David you stop crying."

Abby drew back again and stared at her dad. How could he even think about making her promise something like that? Of course she would cry!

"No I won't promise you!" she said fiercely.

At that moment she reminded him so much of Draco. The love of his life that he would soon see again, be able to touch again.

"I'll be safe, Abby. I'll be happy with Draco and we will both be waiting for you until it's your time to go. David as well. And in the mean time we will be watching over you both just like your father has done for us for all these years." he said softly stroking away her tears.

"You cried for him. I know you did, I remember it!" Abby said almost accusingly.

"I cried because I was angry. I thought he had left for good. But if you look really hard, you'll see us both. In your mirror or beside you when you are in your car. At work. We will both be there, always."

"No, dad. I won't give you that promise." Abby said firmly.

"You have his stubbornness you know." Harry grumbled.

"Yes you told me that last time I wouldn't give into you." she laughed.

"Yes, and I still say it." Harry said and hugged her again. "Now go."

"No, daddy... please, let me stay!" she begged.

"I'll see you soon, my sweet." Harry said.

He gestured for David to come and take her. He came forward and gently but firmly pulled her away from her father. She cried and cursed them both for not letting her stay. He was all she had left. Why wouldn't he let her stay? Harry listened to Abby's desperate cries for him and held back his own tears.

"You don't have to cry, love." the soft voice of his lover said.

Harry looked away from the door and towards his lover that sat in the window, looking at him with loving eyes, and smiled at him in greeting.

"Ready to go?" Draco asked as he came forward. "You can call her in again and say all the things that you want to, because believe me, you will find a lot of things to say once you crossed over." Draco warned.

"No. If I call her back I might begin to fight you and that will just hurt." he said with a shrug.

"Okay, let's go then." Draco said smiling brightly at him and held out his hand.

Harry smiled in return and took the offered hand.

**Wizard Hero Dead**

That was the headline of the Daily Prophet the next morning. On the front page was a photo of a smiling Harry beside Draco and with an infant Abby in between them.


End file.
